


Of Cupboards and Rash Decisions

by Marranje



Series: Remus rasing Harry [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Blink and you'll miss it, Gen, Harry Potter was Raised by Other(s), Implied Sirius Black/Remus Lupin - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Remus Lupin Raises Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27727840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marranje/pseuds/Marranje
Summary: Remus is crushed after losing all of his friends in one night. Months pass in a haze, until one day, a random meeting compells him to check up on Harry. He is horrified by what he finds, and makes a life-changing decision.
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Harry Potter
Series: Remus rasing Harry [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028205
Comments: 11
Kudos: 150





	Of Cupboards and Rash Decisions

The Potter cottage in Godric’s Hollow had been in ruins when Remus arrived. As he laid eyes on it, his legs gave out under him, and he fell on his hands and knees. He could barely breathe, shaking with sorrow, anger, and guilt.

It didn’t feel real. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. He had seen them only a few weeks prior, and they had both been alive and happy, playing with baby Harry and scolding him for not getting enough sleep. And now they were both dead. Gone, just like that.

He didn’t have it in him to feel happy about Voldemort’s demise. He wondered if it made him a bad person for thinking the cost had been too great. All he could do was cry and mourn the loss of almost every single person he had cared about.

The Aurors showed up not long after that, setting up illusions and Muggle repelling wards. An Auror he didn’t recognise had helped him up on his feet, and started questioning him about the events of the night before, but he hadn’t been able to form coherent sentences. Afterward, he’d been brought to the Ministry for further questions. He was held there for hours and hours, until suddenly, someone had told him he was free to go. As it turned out, Sirius had been found and convicted.

Later, when he thought back on it, the whole day seemed like a blur. The following months were a blur too, days bleeding into one another in a grey haze. Thoughts swirling. _How didn’t he notice? How could he have missed it? How had Sirius_ _been able to fool him for so long? Sirius, who he had shared everything with, who had been his everything. Of all people, Remus should have known, should have seen it._ Guilt followed him around as a black cloud.

Months passed, and Remus’ life continued in a forever cycle of getting out of bed, going to work, going home, and going to sleep again.

What eventually ripped him out of the haze was a realisation more horrible than he could have imagined.

When Remus eventually had to venture into the magical world again for an apothecary visit that was long overdue, he had had the unfortune of bumping into a witch he went to school with – a Gryffindor two years ahead of him.

“Lupin? Is that you? Wow, you look horrible. Though I guess that’s understandable, all things considered. How are you holding up?”

His head was already aching after a particularly bad full moon, and he regretted not doing his errands when in a better condition. “I’ll live,” he muttered.

The witch – _oh, what was her name again? –_ nodded with a pitying expression. “It must be so hard on you, with Lilly and James. And that _awful_ traitor – always so charming, that Black kid – to think, not even his best friends…” She trailed off, having noticed the look on his face. “Well, nothing to be done about that now. But, oh, that poor baby, living with Muggles and all? To think that _Harry Potter_ will grow up without magic.”

Hearing the name of his – well, not nephew, but close – shook him out of his spiralling thoughts. “Muggles?” he echoed.

“Well, yes. Potter didn’t have any living relatives, you know – of course _you_ know – so he’s growing up with his family on his mum’s side. A shame, really. I always assumed Evans – excuse me, _Mrs Potter_ , of course – was at least half-blood, being as talented as she was.”

“Excuse me, I have to go,” Remus choked out, cutting of the witch’s ranting, Pepperup Potion long forgotten.

He stumbled back out on the Muggle part of town, making his way home. The shabby flat he rented was only a short walk away from the town’s wizarding square, and he was determined to keep in together until he at least reached the flat. He had never been a particularly proudful man, but even he drew the line at public breakdown.

Merlin. Of course that was where Harry would have ended up. Dumbledore had said he was somewhere safe, and Remus had been content with that, his own shame and guilt keeping him from digging deeper.

Dear Lord. Remus sunk down against the front door only a moment after closing it behind him. Harry was left in the care of Lily’s magic-hating sister whose name he had forgotten. Tina, Tania… He shook his head. _Focus, Remus._ Her name didn’t matter. What mattered was that Harry had been left with the worst possible person. What was Dumbledore _thinking_?

Remus got up on shaky feet. He had to do something. He couldn’t go on like this, knowing what he knew.

In his bedroom, he found the box of things of Lily and James’ that he hadn’t had the heart to get rid of. Old Christmas cards, letters and the occasional picture lay in a heap in the box. He ruffled through it until he found what he was looking for.

_Dear Remus,_

_The dinner was a disaster. James and Tuney’s fiancé couldn’t stand one another, and we had barely gotten through the appetiser when all hell broke loose. If Tuney didn’t like me before, she must hate me now…_

Remus skimmed through the letter. Petunia Evens, was her name, now _Dursley_ , if she was married yet. If luck was on his side, she still lived with Mr Dursley in Surrey.

He quickly but away the letter, dated only a few months before she died, before he was out the door.

As it was, Petunia had indeed married. Mr and Mrs Dursley lived in a quiet neighbourhood in Little Whinging, and it was the most Muggle place he had ever seen. Perfectly ordinary English houses with perfect lawns and gardens were lined up along a perfectly straight road. It was a far cry from the village house Remus once grew up.

It was early in the afternoon when Remus finally arrived the next day. The car was gone, but Remus could still hear noises from the inside as he walked up the driveway. He had put on a glamour to hide the scars, and if it hid the bags under his eyes too, well... No harm in a simple charm. He knocked on the door, and it opened after just a few seconds.

The woman in the door looked nothing like her sister, and for a moment, Remus thought he might have gotten the wrong address.

“What do you want?” the woman said in a shrill voice. She took in his appearance with disdain, and Remus felt very out of place in his frayed jeans and miscoloured old coat.

“Petunia Durley?”

“Who’s asking?”

“Remus Lupin,” he said and reach out for a handshake. Petunia just scowled at his hand, and he let it fall back to his side. “Um, I’m a friend of Lily’s.”

The door smacked close in his face with a loud _bang!_

“Please, I just want to see Harry!” He knocked on the door again.

“ _We don’t want_ your _sort here,_ ” Petunia’s voice said from the other side of door.

“Mrs Dursley, I promise I don’t mean any harm, I’m just here to check up on Harry!”

There was a short pause.

“ _Did that- that-_ Dumbledore _send you?_ ” Her voice was quieter now, more elaborate.

He hesitated slightly, before replying, “I’m Dumbledore’s man, yes." It was technically not a lie, just not what she asked for.

Again, silence.

“ _Give- give me a moment._ ”

Then, the door slowly opened, and Petunia came back to view, this time with a baby in her arms. “As you see, the- the baby is perfectly fine,” she said.

The baby – _Harry!_ – started crying. Remus instinctively reached out for him, but Petunia backed away. “ _Please_ , can I come in?” Remus asked.

“If you must.”

Petunia turned on her heels and lead him past the staircase into the kitchen.

“Sit down,” she ordered, nodding at one of the chairs. She sat down opposite of him, still with Harry in her arms.

“May I hold him?” he asked.

“If you must,” Petunia repeated. She handed the baby over, deliberately not making contact with him.

Remus wanted to cry when he eventually, _finally_ , held Harry in his arms again. The baby stopped crying, and stared up at him with big green eyes. _Her_ eyes. He was so much bigger now, and black hair had grown thicker on his head, making him look even more like James.

“Hey, Harry, remember me?” he said, with a lump in his throat. “It’s Uncle Moony.”

“Uncle Moony,” Harry repeated, and Remus might have actually shed a tear.

“Yes, that’s right!” He couldn't help grinning.

“How has he been?” Remus asked Petunia, when he eventually managed to tear his eyes away from Harry.

“Fine,” said Petunia, without elaborating.

“Oh.”

Remus looked down at Harry again. His eyes were still fixed at Remus.

“I don’t suppose you’ve come to take him off my hands?” Petunia asked.

“What?”

“Are. You. Taking him,” Petunia said slowly.

Remus looked down at Harry. If only. But no, Remus was in no condition to take care of a child. Harry deserved better than that. And even if Petunia wasn’t the nicest lady, she had a home and a stable income and live in a nice neighbourhood, not matter how _ordinary._ Perhaps ordinary was what Harry needed.

A cry pierced through the silence before Remus got the chance to answer, but it wasn’t Harry this time.

“Dudders,” Petunia shouted, almost hysterically, “mommy’s coming!” And before he knew it, the woman had disappeared upstairs. Dumbfounded, Remus was left alone in the kitchen with Harry.

He hadn’t realised the Dursleys had another child. From upstairs, he could hear Petunia fuzzing over Dudders. Remus was struck by how differently she had reacted to Harry crying. Doubt washed over him, and he wavered on his earlier assessment. All he knew about Petunia made him want to take Harry and get him as far away from this place as possible.

But he couldn’t. A werewolf was not fit to be a parent. It was too dangerous. Actually, he shouldn’t be here at all. Dumbledore had obviously wanted Harry to grow up away from the wizarding world, and the last thing Harry needed was strange wizards showing up and disturb his normal life on Privet Drive.

With a regretful sigh, Remus got up. He held Harry on one arm (the baby reached his hands around his neck and clung to him) and fished a picture frame out if his pocket with the other as he headed upstairs. He saw Petunia standing over a crib cooing to a blob of a baby as he passed the door.

“I brought a picture of Harry’s parents. I thought he might like that,” he said as he opened the door to what must be Harry’s room. Suddenly, Petunia was there, trying to forcefully close the door to the bedroom, but it was too late. He had already seen it.

It was just an ordinary bedroom, with a normal single bed that didn’t look slept in. Confused he turned around to see the rest of the hallway. There were just two more doors, one that said ‘WC’ and the other was open to what had to be Mr and Mrs Dursleys bedroom.

“Where’s…” he started.

“I think it’s time for you too leave,” Petunia said. She looked like she wanted to rip Harry out of his arms, but she already had her hands full with the other baby.

“…Harry’s room,” he finished.

“None of your concern!”

Unease filled Remus stomach, and he tightened his grip around Harry. “Is this your room?” he asked Harry.

“No.”

“Where do you sleep then?” Harry pointed in the direction of the stairs, and with Petunia at his heels, shouting things he couldn’t hear, he descended the stairs and was back in the hallway, where there were no other doors than the one to the kitchen and the one to the living room.

Except-

Harry pointed at the small door on the staircase. Unease turned into dread.

“No,” he said. “ _No._ ” He couldn’t believe it. But Petunia had purposefully put herself between Remus and the staircase.

“I _said_ , it’s time for you to leave. If you don’t leave, I’m calling the police,” she shouted, voice shriller than ever.

“Move aside,” Remus said, his voice barely more than a whisper. The woman in front on him was shaking, and she didn’t resist when he forced her aside. He opened the lock – _the lock!_ – someone had placed on the outside of the door, and it opened up to what was barely more than a cupboard.

On a box on the floor, there was a baby bag.

“Sleepy time?” Harry asked, and that was it.

“You let your _nephew_ , sleep in a _closet,_ ” he said slowly, words laced with venom. Then he realised that he didn’t care. He forced his way past _that woman_ , and was out the front door before she managed to form a reply. He was barely out the door before he disapparated, Muggles be damned.

They landed in an alleyway behind his block where there thankfully were no Muggles. Harry puked on his shoulder and started crying. Clutching Harry to his chest, he muttered in his ear, “ _It’s okay, you’re safe now, it’ll be alright, I’m here, Moony is here…”_

By the time they reached his flat, Harry’s cries had died down into sobs, and Remus was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

“Keep it together, Harry needs you,” he whispered to himself, rocking Harry slowly back and forth.

Harry eventually fell asleep and the flat fell silent. Slowly, as to not wake him up, Remus stood up and transfigured the sofa into a crib. He carefully lowered Harry down into the crib and tucked the blanket around him.

It was only then, with Harry safe and sound, sleeping in the sofa-crib in his cheap flat, that Remus realised what he had done.

_“Oh, God.”_

**Author's Note:**

> This is it for now, I hope you liked it! I did write more stuff for this 'verse, but I don't have the time and self-diciplin to commit to a chaptered fic for the time being:') I'll probably post more to this series at some point, though. Thank you for reading<3


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